Sunday, October 16, 2016

Ups and Downs

I have good news and bad news.

After forcing his arms into the swaddle, even though he hates it, Atlas has learned to nap in his rock and play. Sometimes, he'll nap for awhile, sometimes not, but he's learning. I felt comfortable enough to leave him with Kristin while I went to the salon to get my hair dyed, and he napped and took a bottle for her. We went to the doctor for a reflux appointment, and she prescribed him Zantac, which I felt so optimistic about. I did an interview for the local news about the Dancing for Birth class I took leading up to Atlas's birth, so Atlas will be making his TV debut this week. He looked super cool, I might add, in his beanie and Chuck Taylors and "Chicks Dig Me" onesie. I went to my New Moms group like usual, where Atlas actually was content laying on the ground and doing tummy time like the rest of the awake, alert babies do every week. I took him to Kristin's briefly, and Chloe held him and read him a book. He rolled over a few more times this week, because he is a rebellious little devil and wants to run away from me as quickly as possible, probably by the time he turns 6 months old. Eric and I were able to eat dinner and watch a movie together while Atlas slept for THREE WHOLE HOURS on Friday night!

So I thought I was going to be on cloud nine today, but I'm not, because everything went downhill at the end of the week. Atlas started having much worse GI issues than before. If I was really ruthless, I'd describe it all in detail and post pictures, but I am feeling kind and have no energy to torture you poor souls. I will get no enjoyment from it, which is completely unlike my dark, twisty self, especially at Halloween time. That's how over this current situation I am.

The doctor says he has a virus, but I know that isn't it. I just know. After putting his symptoms together, from the time he was born to now, and analyzing my own diet when things took a bad turn, all signs point toward a milk protein sensitivity. Maybe that's not it, but altering my diet is something I have control over, so it's worth a shot. I can't sit here and feel helpless and confused anymore. I started cutting out dairy completely yesterday. I went on a dairy-free shopping spree today and spent 45 minutes in Publix reading nutrition labels on every single thing. I am giving up PIZZA, for gods sake. Do you understand the level of love that is? No? I didn't either, til I had Atlas.

I can sit here and complain about feeling tired and lonely and isolated and like a bad friend due to my new mom status, but I really just want my kid to feel better. That's all I want. I will sit in my house for the rest of my life with NO PIZZA if it means he will feel better. And the reflux meds will take at least a week to work, so I am still holding out hope.

Well, there's your weekly update. Next time I write, I expect to have LOADS of AMAZING things to say. He gets his shots on Tuesday, but I fully expect him to handle them like a fucking champ, because he is my son, and therefore has badass-ness flowing through his veins!

First 3m outfit: DINO PJS! I swear I'm not smothering him. Sometimes he just passes out in very strange positions. Also, I see where Atlas gets his unintentional flipping of the bird from... my bad.

Purple hair, because I can. Linny got pink streaks on the same day. My mom feels like she "failed as a parent" lollllll COME ON, MA!

Right before he rolled over! And then had a massive blowout!

How can he sleep in these weird positions? He looks like a little inchworm.

Cuddle time makes us both feel better.

Mommy's little mummy!

Hanging out with Dad.

Decked out in Eagles gear! 
Wish I had fallen asleep during that game, too...

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