Sunday, October 2, 2016


It's been a really rough week. I'm not even going to talk about it, because I honestly don't think it will help. I don't want to think about it. I know, "It gets better," blah blah blah, but this isn't a new mom issue. I don't give a shit that I'm not sleeping. It was never about that. I care that Atlas is in pain and unhappy. I care that I have to miss important moments in the lives of my friends and family. I care that I have no social life (compared to before, anyway) and feel isolated. I care that I can't do anything around the house. I know, "Let him cry," but do you think I will get anything done with a screaming baby? No. I'd rather snuggle with him all day. DUH. Because I DO appreciate these times and love Atlas to death. I signed up for all these issues when I chose to have a kid, and they suck, but the love... what every parent says is true. I have never loved anything as much as I love Atlas and our little family, which makes all the hardships worth it, although it doesn't make them less emotionally painful.

Atlas has been changing so rapidly, mostly for the better. He's bigger and stronger. He rolled over today. He's only 6 weeks old! I didn't even think that was possible. And he is SO much more alert. He looks around with his blue eyes wide open and brows raised, completely amazed at the world around him. I started pumping the other day and he is learning to take a bottle, but he has started spitting up very often, and even projectile vomiting, which upsets him. He grunts and squirms all night long in pain, but at least he isn't crying and nursing all night to cope with it anymore. He does have a meltdown for a few hours every evening, but bath time makes him happy for at least a little bit. In the morning, after he wakes up and feels better, he is super smiley and happy. Seeing that much joy in his face makes me cry happy tears, because I know that he is still okay, even if he seems like he's not half the time.

Music mat time

Snuggling on the couch

Getting interested in things, like his soft lion that rattles and crinkles.

He looks like such an old man hahahaha

I think the wrong person is asleep here...

Napping on mommy as usual

Used the monitor for the first time! I never let the video turn off, and I have the sound up all the way all the time. Basically, I'm a nervous wreck.

Aunt Katherine came to visit for the day! <3 

Play time with Dad


Little rebel

Hanging out with Nym. You can't see his face, but he's fussing in the carrier. He decided he hates it as of last week...

Mom mom came back to visit!

Nym loves Mom mom, too!
Famsquad bedtime

First bottle

Fell asleep on the mat during tummy time

Getting comfy

Doing pushups. Strong little dude!

Raccoon pjs and making Mom feel better with cuddles <3

I want to nap, but not in the carrier, because that would allow Mommy to actually get things done!

Used to hate diaper changes, but he loves his changing station now

6 weeks 3 days old, rolled over and was quite pleased with himself. Mommy, on the other hand, is terrified...

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