Week 33

Last weekend, the Starbucks barista made my life by giving me my latte on the house. She said I was always smiling and bubbly when I came in for my weekly dose of caffeine and deserved a free boost of energy for having to be super pregnant in the summer. It was such an unnecessary, kind gesture, and I thought about it a lot this week.

I thought about how I am still holding out hope that my son will grow up in a good world and have a good life. And then, I thought about the difficult conversations I am going to have to have with him along the way.

I have been trying for days to think of what to say about the events of the past week, but I honestly don't know what to say. I don't want my silence on social media to be seen as complicity, but I also think having conversations in "real life" counts for something, right? I've talked to friends and family about these things, and god knows I'm open and honest about my opinions on every subject matter, but I still don't know what to write about this. I just wrote a giant word-vomit post about it but deleted it.

All I can say is: It is possible to respect the lives and work of police officers while acknowledging that systemic racism exists. White privilege exists. The actions of some police officers do not represent all officers, but that doesn't mean there isn't a problem with the system in general. The actions of a few snipers in Dallas do not represent the message of an entire peaceful movement. All lives matter, but right now, it is urgent that we address the issues facing minorities in this country, which is where Black Lives Matter comes in. Acknowledging and accepting that we have different experiences based on the color of our skin is difficult, but important. I would be happy to discuss the issue with anyone.

How far along?  33 weeks, and Baby Mazz is the size of a ferret. The other app told me he is the size of celery... CELERY. Lame. I like the weird creature comparisons much better.

She wouldn't get out of the shot :P

Total weight gain/measurements: 19 lbs. total from my pre-pregnancy weight, and I have never been anywhere close to this heavy in my life. Seeing the number on the scale messed with my head a little bit, but I had also just eaten a personal pizza, Caesar salad, and truffle fries from Yard House before my appointment, so... can't complain haha. But I almost threw it all up (not on purpose), because there is NO ROOM in my belly for food anymore. He is squishing my stomach so badly that I feel extremely sick every time I eat, even if it's just a peanut butter sandwich or an apple. The doctor said he's just getting big, and to try to eat a lot of small things throughout the day. Pregnancy, man.

Maternity clothes: First, does anyone have any recommendations on where to find good nursing bras and tanks? Target had NOTHING in store, and Destination Maternity ones are all too big. Anyway, my new things have arrived from Pinkblush. The shirt I was most excited for fits fine but looks a little too billowy on me, which is a shame, but the other two will be good. I bet I can still wear them when I'm not pregnant anymore. The jean shorts FIT! THEY ARE AMAZING! I AM WAY TOO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!!!!! I might start ordering clothes from their non-maternity line, since pretty much everything has fit me so well, been affordable, and arrived before the estimated delivery date.

Stretch marks: Nothing major to report. I'm just using regular cheapo moisturizer a couple times a day.

Sleep: What's that?

Best moment this week: Two best moments. 

Friday night was Ben's birthday dinner and drinks. I couldn't drink of course, but man, I love sitting out by the water with friends (even if I am having hot flashes and my feet are swelling up like balloons). 

And then shopping with Eric yesterday. Sounds lame-o, but we had a really nice day together. We went to the outlets and the mall, did some shopping for him, and did some shopping for the Little Dude. We were the model parents-to-be in Carter's that were making fun of half the baby clothes, calling the raccoon onesies the "trash panda" onesies, and talking about putting our newborn in a bucket hat. Truly, we found a lot of cute things. I love seeing the stuff Eric picks out. We got some caffeine from my favorite overpriced mediocre cafe, picked up a new living room coffee table, found a new pizza place with good takeout pizza!, and went for a nice walk with Nym. She's been walking great on her harness. We visited with her dogfriend Macy, who is the dogchild of a couple who are expecting their first humanchild in October. They are from Pittsburgh and are really nice. We ended the night with a game of Dominion and a little jam sesh. I can't wait to play and sing for Baby Mazz. :)

Miss anything? Besides the usual sleep, family, friends, and alcohol, I would also say I miss breathing, eating without feeling like puking my guts up, my nice thin feet, and being able to bend over. I can barely paint my toenails or shave in the shower anymore. WAH WAH WAH let's complain some more, Lauren...

Movement: He's kicking all up in my ribs and stomach. Not pleasant, but still adorable!

Food cravings: I didn't have Jupiter Donut Factory this week. It was a problem. You better believe I will be getting a half dozen next Saturday morning.

Anything making you queasy or sick? Yeah, EVERYTHING, because nothing fits in my stomach :(

Gender: Dude

Labour signs: No, but definitely having more Braxton Hicks contractions, and they are getting more uncomfortable.

Symptoms: Shortness of breath, swelling, overheating, and difficulty eating are at the top of the list this week.

Belly button in or out? It keeps going further out, and I JUST WANT TO POP IT BACK IN ALSKDGJALSKGJ

Wedding rings on or off? Off. Not risking getting that shiz stuck on my finger.

Happy or moody most of the time: ... bored and uncomfortable? Haha.

Looking forward to: Spending time with friends and family in the near future, childbirth classes, and the hospital tour! And decorating the nursery walls! Eric spray painted some old vinyl records. I think they are going to look super cool on the wall. Here are a few: