Monday, July 4, 2016

32 Weeks!

Happy Independence Day, U.S.A.

Eric and I spent the day napping and binge watching the most recent season of Orange is the New Black. Well, he grilled hot dogs and burgers (because AMERICA) while I napped. Every few days, going to bed at 2am and waking up at 6am catches up with me. But there's just something about being up and about before everyone, even before Nym wants to go out... I don't like to sleep in, even if I can.

This morning, I ate my cereal in peace and made lists. LISTS UPON LISTS. A grocery list, a list of things we still need for the baby, a list of things I want to get done tomorrow, a comprehensive list of things I need to do before the baby comes, a list of things Eric needs to do, and a list of everything I need to pack in the hospital bags for me, Eric, and the baby.

I felt accomplished. I'll feel REALLY accomplished if I actually cross things off these lists. Hah.

The past week was a pretty good week. It was my last week of "work." Once I calmed down from my little breakdown last week, I reflected a lot on the impact that taking huge risks has had on my life. When I started writing here, Eric and I had just made the decision to move to Florida. Nearly three years later, we own a home here, have a dog, and are preparing to be parents. When I say I never thought I'd see the day, I am SERIOUS. 

I read back over a bunch of my posts from the past few years, and I am so glad I have documented my life, the good and the bad. Things haven't always been easy, but every risk that we have taken has paid off in the end. Part of that can be attributed to the fact that we are good planners (yes, even chill-as-hell Eric). We didn't just move away without having a plan, I definitely didn't just quit any of my jobs without having something else lined up, and we are both very hard workers who are motivated to succeed in whatever we choose to do. But part of our risks paying off is definitely luck. Or fate. Or whatever you want to call it. Thanks to a good friendship formed during really tough times at tough jobs, I ended up where I am right now. It feels like I am where I was always meant to be. I put "work" in quotations because the past fifteen months never felt like a job. Counseling felt like a job, despite the fact that I LOVED what I did and was good at it. Having a work fam, creating lasting bonds, being happy instead of crying myself to sickness every day, and coming to the realization that I am destined to have a kid? That is on a whole different level. That isn't a job. That is like... a year-long soul-searching expedition.

I have a feeling that my soul-searching, and my risk-taking, are far from over. This holiday weekend was a little escape from reality, but tomorrow starts the next chapter of my life. I am feeling some intense anxiety about Eric going to work tomorrow and me staying home. I don't want to feel purposeless for the next eight weeks. At least I have a shit ton of things on lists that need to get done. ;)

How far along?  32 weeks 1 day

Total weight gain/measurements: Will find out at my doctor appointment this week. I'm glad I stuck to my guns and didn't buy a scale. This whole process would be much more emotionally draining for me if I were measuring and weighing myself every week, or what would almost definitely turn into an every day obsession in my case. I'm still hungry and eating a ton of crap, but I am starting to feel very full very fast... there isn't much room inside for anything other than Baby Mazz anymore.

Maternity clothes: I am anxiously awaiting a new maternity order from Pinkblush! With only 8 weeks left to go, I wanted to kick myself for buying more things this late in the game, but I literally don't fit into 98% of my wardrobe at this point. I figured I'd invest in a pair of maternity jean shorts, which they sell in number sizes at Pinkblush, so hopefully they'll fit properly. The few shirts I bought will work well to hide my postpartum belly bump, so I should get some good use out of them! I like flowy shirts anyway, so maybe I'll be able to wear them even if I get back in shape.

Stretch marks: Still none really  

Sleep: Crazy dreams, waking up multiple times to pee and move around. Blah!

Best moment this week: Probably spending time with my work fam, honestly. And this Fourth of July Weekend has been pretty great!

Baby Leo and Baby Mazz are in there... 
... Baby Chloe didn't want to be in the picture.  Lolllll

Went to Civl Society in Abacoa and had some Non-Prophet Brewing kombucha. SO. GOOD. 
Fireworks in Abacoa. Felt like a true summer night. :)
Miss anything? Alcohol and sleep and family. Especially over Fourth of July weekend. But this will continue for the duration of this pregnancy. And then, when it's over, I will still be missing sleep and family!

Movement: All the time. LOTS of hiccups. Lots of squishing himself up high and kicking my ribs so I have trouble breathing. I pretty much need to stretch out laying on my left side at all times to breathe properly at this point. But it's still so cute when he moves.

Food cravings: Jupiter Donut Factory doughnuts... oops...

Anything making you queasy or sick? Not really!

Gender: Boy

Labour signs: Nope

Symptoms: Heartburn, indigestion, shortness of breath, Braxton Hicks contractions, swelling

Belly button in or out? Out, and I literally have dreams about popping it back in. It really bothers me!

Wedding rings on or off? Off :/ They only got stuck twice, and not that badly, but that was enough to make me freak out about them being stuck forever, or cutting the circulation off in my finger, or something. So I just kept them off after getting them off that second time. Ughhhhh

Happy or moody most of the time: Understandably emotional, but not moody. Happy.

Looking forward to: Doctor appointment this week, and GETTING SHIT DONE!


  1. Replies
    1. Miss you guys a lot! Fourth of July is always weird without being at a Mazzola family gathering <3