Thursday, September 3, 2015

Hi September


It's September now.

Every time I post, I say I am going to start writing more again, and then I never do. I have sat down to write so many times in the past year, stared at the screen for five minutes, and then shut my laptop and walked away.

The truth is that this year has been very difficult for me. In high school, I would have just written all about it in my Livejournal for the whole world to see. In college, I would have written cryptic Taking Back Sunday and Brand New lyric statuses referencing it on Facebook (thank you Timehop for these memories... not). In grad school, I would have talked to my therapist about it.

This time, I think I needed to just process it on my own. Writing does help me do that, but I personally don't see the point in writing if absolutely no one sees what I write. And the things I have going on, I haven't wanted anyone to see. We all know what happens on the internet stays on the internet, and I am too old and wise to let that happen now. ;)

Eric and I will be married for one year on this Saturday, September 5th. We will be celebrating it at our friends' wedding that day, so we leave tomorrow for NJ... our first time home in a whole year. It's like the entire year is coming full circle with us celebrating love at a wedding and returning home to where this whole marriage journey shiz began for us.

What everyone has seen the past year is all of the good things we have experienced: getting married, going on a honeymoon (aka "sickmoon", but damn did it make for a hilarious story!), celebrating holidays with our Florida fam (all Chloe's firsts and OUR firsts as husband and wife) (husband/wife is still weird to say), buying a house, adopting a dog, finding a job in which I actually feel happy... all of these situations have been amazing. But what a lot of people forget is that there is such a thing as a GOOD stressor. Just because something is a good thing doesn't mean it is easy. Some of the most stressful situations in life are the first year of marriage, buying a house/moving, and changing jobs. We have encountered all these things within one year, plus adopting Nym.

When my dad made his speech at our wedding, he said that life will definitely throw us some curveballs. Things have been hectic and stressful this year, and we have certainly had our ups and downs. Eric and I are both Aries. If you don't believe in astrological signs, too bad for you. This year has shown me that we are definitely both Aries: stubborn, passionate, independent, fiery, and opinionated, even if we don't seem that way to others.

Despite all of these qualities making for some very interesting debates, they also mean that we are stubborn and passionate about this relationship. We have worked hard to learn how to handle all the curveballs life has thrown at us so far, and we will keep growing and changing and learning how to handle things together. That is my favorite thing about being with Eric, and it's how I knew this relationship was "it." In every other relationship, I have felt dependent. I have felt like I need to give in, or be jealous, or change myself in some way. With Eric, I feel like I can be whoever I want, and so can he, and we will just evolve together. That is the best feeling.

And so, we have many reasons to celebrate! We have survived one year of marriage, two years of Florida, job changes, a house, and a dog who eats socks and retainers.

We are boarding Nym with a nice lady while we are in the Jerz, by the way. We dropped her off tonight. I sobbed on the way home. I love her.

Anyway, I can't wait to see as many friends and family as possible, and cuddle my cats, and eat all the cheesesteaks and pizza, and walk barefoot in the soft grass, and feel the cool(er) night air, and see my Good Charlotte poster that is still hanging on my bedroom wall. God, I miss home.

Off I go to pack. Yes, it is almost 10pm and I am still not packed. Maybe I'd be less stressed if I stopped procrastinating in every situation in life...

Let us take a moment of silence in remembrance of Eric's short hair and my long hair. My my, how times have changed ;)

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