June 2nd: Chop Chop

I have had about 129357205720 different hair styles and colors. Down to my waist, 12" chopped off in one go, waves, bobs, bangs, and, as of today, an asymmetrical pixie. Blonde, brown, almost black, red, streaks, highlights, ombre, pink sharpie tips (sorry, Mom...).

I was tempted to tell the hairdresser to just half-shave it today.

If you are cringing at that statement, you are not alone. I kind of cringe at it, too. But part of me just wants to know what it would be like.

If you are an average person, you probably don't stray too far from a style and color that you know works well on you. And if you are an average woman, this is probably some sort of long-ish, flowing hair. If you are a guy, chances are you've told me not to cut my hair.

So why do I do all these crazy things? Is it because I don't think before I act? No, far from it. I obsess over my hair (and everything else in life).

I do it for the same reason I love Halloween. It's fun to change my appearance sometimes.

I do it because I get bored with myself easily. Piercings don't work in my skin, and tattoos are an expensive habit.

I do it because I like to make myself uncomfortable.

For anyone that thinks I am not attached to my hair, you are so, so wrong. Sometimes, when I am in the salon, I feel like I made a great decision. But sometimes, when I see the chunks of hair fall on the floor, or the brown turn to blonde, I cry. Sometimes I look at myself and think I look uglier than I did before, not because the cut or color is bad, but because it doesn't suit me.

I keep doing this to myself because I think it is important to force myself to step out of my comfort zone. Not everyone is like that, but I need to do it. Every time I change my hair, I am reminded that my identity is not my appearance. My beauty is not defined by my hair, or smile, or weight. What makes someone beautiful is how they treat others, and the goodness they put out in to the universe.

And if they have nice hair, then I guess that's just a bonus. ;)