Monday, March 9, 2015

We Meet Again!

Well, well, well. Look who has re-entered the blogosphere!

I have wanted to write so many times, but I haven't been able to find the words to say. Or I knew what I wanted to say and thought twice before posting it on a public forum.

Now, I am two months older and two months wiser than I was in January, I can control my impulses, and I am ready to talk your ears off again, you lucky sonsofa... See? IMPULSE. CONTROL.

Here is the TL;DR version of the past two months of my life:

- Loved my new job and coworkers and clients
- Started looking at buying a house
- Quit my new job due to unforseen circumstances
- Got sad and stressed out a lot
- Started nannying (Whaaat?!)
- In the process of closing on a house (WHAAAAT?!)

None of this has been easy, and I have definitely been isolating myself for the past two months. I don't think I need to explain all the anxiety and depression and blah blah blah. No one wants to hear a sad story.

I have learned things from this experience:
1. Living in Florida is not a cure-all (but it still beats winter in the Jerz).
2. I have been so focused on helping on other people for my whole life that I really, really have not cared for myself like I should have been doing.

When you start floundering, you are going to drown unless you ask for help and start swimming.

So, I stopped panicking and started swimming.

I am not going to pretend that I feel good about taking a break from the counseling profession. I feel very ashamed and like a complete failure, even though part of what led to it was out of my control. However, I think a majority of that feeling comes from worrying what other people think of me for going down this path. I spent my whole life trying to avoid kids and become a counselor for adults, but I have never felt happier about a job than I do about helping this family take care of these kids. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? I do not know. I am a lost and confused soul, but happy with where I'm at right now.

I make no sense, but I don't care.

At this time, Eric and I are most of the way through the house-buying process. Our closing date is tentatively March 31st. If this works out, I will be pretty damn happy. If it doesn't work out... then it doesn't? Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on :)

You can look forward to reading all about my nannying antics, which I promise will be very amusing. They will be called the Chronicles of Lauren, a Four-Year-Old, and a Newborn. It will probably contain stories about princesses, tantrums, getting peed on while changing diapers, and lots of other fun kid things. You can also hear more about my existential quarter-life crisis (lucky you), as well as home decor and crafty projects!

Fun times ahead on SunshineBound. FUN. TIMES. I'll try not to get peed on too much, though...