Saturday, October 4, 2014

Autumn Awesomeness: My Top Ten

As I sit here on a cloudy, hot, and humid South Florida morning, I am thinking of all the best things about the fall season.

Here are my Top Ten Things of Autumn Awesomeness (I'm so eloquent):

10. Leather Jacket Weather

Leather Jacket weather (or LJ weather, as I affectionately call it) is one of the best things about fall, but it is the last thing on the best things list. This is because, while cooler weather is a relief after the heat and humidity of summer, I can only stand it for so long before I want summer to come back. I don't like when my face starts to get too cold and red. However, the pro of LJ weather is, of course, looking badass in an LJ.

9. Candy Corn

You'd think this would be numero uno on my list, what with how I go on and on about it. Candy corn is possibly the most delicious thing about autumn. I ate three handfuls of it last night, and it was glorious. Then, my teeth felt like they were going to fall out, and I got a tummy ache. So worth it though. And they look so cute sitting in a clear glass jar, so they double as decorations! EDIBLE DECORATIONS.

8. Changing Leaves

Yeah, it sucks to have to rake them up every other day, and you run a high risk of getting poison ivy from jumping in the piles (is this just me?). But it really doesn't feel like fall until the leaves start changing. In my opinion, there is nothing in nature more beautiful than seeing bright reds, oranges, and yellows as you drive down the road or walk in the woods.

7. Apple Cider

It's good hot. It's good cold. It's good with a shit ton of alcohol in it. If you tell me this isn't the best drink of the fall season, you are a liar, kind sir.

6. Fall Makeup

Summer's bright colors are fun, but black, plum, and deep berry reds are the best. They're classic, beautiful, and pretty much universally flattering. And I feel much more comfortable in dark colors (hi, this is Lauren's inner goth speaking). Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics makes this crazy amazing product called Lip Tars. That sounds gross, but it's just highly pigmented liquid lipstick that you apply with a lip brush. You barely need any product, so one tube lasts forever, and the original formula dries to an almost-matte finish. I live for the time of year when I can start wearing the Black Dahlia color.  See? OCC Lip Tar

5. Fall Fashion

Leather jackets, flannel, boots, and beanies. This time of year is by far the most comfortable and stylish, at the same time. If I can look pretty by literally picking clothes up off my closet floor and throwing them on haphazardly in 2 minutes, that's a win in my book.

4. Thanksgiving

ALL THE FOOD. Especially pumpkin pie, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, and cranberry sauce. I really miss having Thanksgiving dinner at my Aunt Joyce's house with all the cousins. Aunt Joyce was like Martha Stewart. She'd make everything all fancy. We'd each have a task, whether it was folding the cloth napkins, designing place cards, or making talent show programs (for the after-dinner entertainment, of course). She even taught us how to make designs on top of the soup once.


Pie. Beer. Cookies. Ravioli. Air freshener. Candles. Decorations. Poptarts. The (in)famous Pumpkin Spice Latte. ACTUAL PUMPKINS! Pumpkins are the best thing that ever happened to the world, because you can use pumpkins for everything. They're cute. They're orange. Their seeds even taste delicious. The only pumpkin thing that sucks is the pumpkin-shaped candy corn. Those things are IMPOSTERS, man. Gross.

2. Bonfires

Is there anything better than an autumn bonfire? Yes, I guess so, because there is still one more thing on this list. But bonfires are the runner-up. Making s'mores, drinking pumpkin beer or spiked cider, sitting around the fire listening to Coheed, Circa Survive, or Bright Eyes (that might just be me), all with your best friends... Put on your LJs and get out there, fools.


Did you really think anything else would be number one on my list? Hallowen is The Beatles of the fall season. It combines pumpkin everything, LJ weather, changing leaves, apple cider, and candy corn. It ups the ante for fall fashion and makeup by making it COSTUME fashion and makeup. IT ADDS ALL THE CANDY OF THE WORLD IN TO ONE NIGHT. Plus, it's magical. And spooky. And I used to think I would become a witch on the Halloween of my 16th year, like Sabrina or something. Halloween is the best.

If you read all this, you either really love autumn, or you're really bored. Either way, I hope you feel quite festive after reading my list. I encourage you to make your own list, even if you don't like fall. Thinking about the best things helps you forget about the worst things!

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