Wednesday, February 26, 2014

90 Day Review and WEDDING DRESS TIME

Well aren't I just the best little blogger this week? I'm on a ROLL. Which means there is a lot going on, which means I am probably anxious and writing to help me calm down and process things.

Go me for using healthy coping skills!

First, I had my 90 day review at work yesterday. My supervisor came to the school and spent FOUR HOURS analyzing my charts, logs, paperwork, and completing my evaluation. Results are in: I passed with flying colors. I have barely been sleeping in anticipation of this review, but she said I am doing better than average, which is great, but especially great for someone so new. I guess I am just really, really hard on myself. I knew this. I am the child who insisted on bringing a week's worth of work on my family vacation to Disney in third grade because I was so scared about missing school and falling behind in class.

I need to chill.

Second, I got a call today from Ghislaine at Angel Bridal in Haddonfield, NJ. Ghislaine is basically the best and most attentive bridal boutique owner ever. She was so helpful when I was trying on dresses and has made every effort to help my bridesmaids and I with dress issues, even from 1,000+ miles away. We were able to order all of the bridesmaid dresses there, for lower prices, and she will ship them to my bridesmaids all over the East Coast. She also told me she would work with me to get me in for fittings whenever I visit NJ this summer, even if she needs to open on a day off or come in early. She said I could get the dress fitted in Florida if I wanted to, and she would press it for me before the wedding when I bring it back to NJ.

I highly recommend Angel Bridal if you are looking for a wedding dress in the Philadelphia area.

Anyway, she called me today to let me know that my dress came in early! So it will be ready and waiting for me when I go to NJ in March. I set up an appointment for early that Saturday morning, which worked out great, because the seamstress will be there.

This is both incredibly exciting and terrifying. If you are a female, you may understand why this is so terrifying.

That being said...

I am signing up for the Disney Wine & Dine Half Marathon! It takes place in early November, but registration is March 4th, I believe. I got in to great shape training for the half marathon I ran last April. Yes, I know the wedding is 2 months before the race, and I know some people start training for a half marathon 8 weeks out... so technically I could start training AFTER my wedding. But no, because I am pathetic and need like 6 months of training. I have been active, but I have not been running often, and I have not been making the healthiest choices. Registering for this race will do two things: give me something big and fun to look forward to when the wedding is over, and force me to get back in to the running groove and make healthier choices.

But don't think for one second I will give up day-drinking on the beach and boat or happy hour at Guanabana's. I do live in paradise, after all ;)

Monday, February 24, 2014

RIP Harold Ramis

I'm not one of those people who mourns the death of celebrities like they were my best friends, but this one makes me sad.

Harold Ramis has passed away. If you don't know him, I guarantee you know his movies: Animal House, Caddyshack, Stripes, Groundhog Day, and GHOSTBUSTERS. This man was THE Egon Spengler, people. EGON.

Can I just tell you all what an impact this guy had on my childhood? I was obsessed with the Ghostbusters. This obsession is one I don't talk about often. It's not like it's a secret. It's just... special to me. Everyone knows I still have my Captain Planet and Ninja Turtles action figures. No one knows I still have my Ghostbusters lunchbox that I carried around for the first 5 years of my educational career. I felt like such a nerd when I started school... because I am one. And every day at lunch, I felt scared to go in to the cafeteria and sit with the other kids. But I would walk in there and look at my purple plastic Ghostbusters lunchbox with my Ghostbusters thermos (don't act like you don't remember these 90s lunchtime gems) and look at Egon Spengler, and think about how it's okay to be a huge nerd, because Egon is a huge nerd and he helped save the world from evil spirits. That's another thing: I was (and still am) terrified of ghosts. The Ghostbusters made me feel SAFE as a kid.

Egon Spengler was a superhero to me, because 1. he was the biggest nerd, and 2. he showed that being a nerd is AWESOME and can save the world.

So, there is my little heartfelt tribute to Harold Ramis. Thanks for bringing Egon Spengler to life. Besides being hilarious and talented, you had a major life impact on one sad little girl in New Jersey.


Sunday, February 23, 2014


Do you ever rejoice at the prospect of a long weekend, relax, enjoy yourself, then go back to work and feel like the short week is the LONGEST work week of your ENTIRE life?

That happened to me last week. I hate that.

Valentine's Day ended up consisting of a romantic dinner:

And this:

The rest of the long weekend was food and drinks by the water at Guanabanas with Ben and Kristin, and laying by the pool reading the Amber Chronicles. Go read it if you like trippy fantasy stories that transport you to different worlds.

Tuesday was a volunteer work/staff meeting day, so it was really like I only worked three days in the school, but it felt like an eternity. I woke up at 3:30am every morning and could not go back to sleep. My brain would not. shut. up.

Anxiety is at an all-time high. I am honestly surprised I did not have my first panic attack in almost two years this week. But I guess that's a good thing: If I survived this week without having one, maybe I can survive anything...?

Yes. We'll go with that.

I think I just have a lot going on right now. Work is overwhelming. I have so much to do before Spring Break. I don't even want to talk about it.

Baby shower planning is so exciting but really stressful. I am going to be damn proud of myself when it all comes together. It is an Alice in Wonderland theme, which is perfect, because I got to write "RSVP to Lauren or IT'S OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" on the invitations... muahahaha. For those of you who are unaware, I am the Evil Queen, and it has been my dream in life to tell people OFF WITH YOUR HEAD. I've gotten many compliments on the invitations already, which is awesome, since Eric designed them!

Eric and I have also been REALLY getting to it with the wedding planning. We did an especially grown-up thing today: set up a registry! This sounded like a huge chore to me, so I have been putting it off, because who really cares about fine china? Not me. But I discovered I actually DO like looking at plates, and blenders, and waffle makers, and even vacuum cleaners. I think I actually just like to scan things. We were having a little too much fun with the scan gun...

There we are, in front of the wine gadgets. Typical.

I think we'll just leave it at that for now. My life has basically been lots of stress, some bad, but some good, paired with lots of wine.

Don't judge me.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine's Day

Here's the thing about Valentine's Day:

It is a money-sucking, commercial holiday.

I've pretty much always been in a relationship on Valentine's Day since I was old enough to care about boys, but I have always hated it for that reason up there. In 9th grade, I went through this stage where I thought I was cool for rebelling against the day by wearing all black and getting a black rose from my then-boyfriend. How anti-love of us...

So, ever since then, I have worn black to keep up my tradition of speaking out against this completely made-up holiday that exists for no other reason than to take your money.

BUT something happened to me this year for the first time since elementary school: I got excited for Valentine's Day.

Part of the reason is that I work in a middle school now, and seeing the kids get so excited and give and receive candygrams makes me so happy. But the other part of the reason is that I just genuinely enjoy spreading love. If they're not happy, I want to make them happy. I knew there would be some pretty upset kids today, and there were, which was entertaining (you can't help laughing at middle-school love drama). But there were some kids who were so upset that it wasn't even funny. It gave me flashbacks to that feeling where you feel like your heart is literally breaking... that empty, hole-in-your-chest feeling.

I just can not stand seeing people hurt like that, when I know how it feels. That's why I do what I do. Because I know how it feels. And yes, you can feel that way when you are 12, 13, 14 years old.

I still think Valentine's Day is a scam. I know that you should show your love for others every day and not need to spend a ton of money on gifts to do so. But really, is there anything wrong with dedicating a day to it? No. Even if you are single, you can still make a point to give and receive love with friends and family. No one is saying you need to go out and buy flowers, or cards, or an expensive dinner. Eric and I don't even do any of that. But use Valentine's Day as a reminder to make sure you let people know how you feel. Cheer up your friend if they are going through a hard time. Tell your parents you love them, even if you are not the type of family that normally says things like that. Put aside the argument you had last night with your partner and just enjoy each other's company.

Any excuse to share the love is a good one, so Happy Valentine's Day to all. I hope you are feeling the love today.

P.S. I still wore black. I have a reputation to uphold, you know...

Monday, February 10, 2014

Work and Babies and Weddings, Oh My


2014 is basically the busiest year of my life so far.

Here is what I have done in the past few weeks:

1. Worked my ass off. Middle schoolers wear you out like no other age group. Even the toddlers at the day care didn't wear me out like this. It pays off though, because my supervisor has complimented me several times on my work. And now, I've officially been here longer than I was at my first Florida job. I've lived here for over 5 months. Crazy.

2. Baby shower planning. I know nothing about babies, or showers, so this has been interesting. I'm surprised at how excited I am for it though. I don't know if it's because I am starting to like babies, or just because it is Kristin's baby, or just because I'm excited to give any baby a pair of little black and pink Chuck Taylors... but whatever the reason, I am getting really excited.

3. Wedding planning. It is time to get shit done. I am going to NJ for my Spring Break in March, and I have about 2894393 wedding-related appointments. Florist, baker, caterer, AND my dress will be in! We finally got the bridesmaid dress situation figured out as well. I have been trying to get in touch with the hotel to book a block of rooms for guests.  Eric and I have also been coming up with ideas for the ceremony and reception to make it more "us." We were really dragging on the planning because the whole thing kind of got away from what we originally wanted it to be. We just weren't feeling it. We want all our friends and family there, obviously, but when it's such a huge event, it's hard to make it unique. Unless you're rich. But no one in this situation is, soooo yeah. We have some fun ideas now though to make it more unique, and we are getting super pumped. Get ready for a rockin' par-tay ;)

Besides all that craziness, I've been using every spare moment to get some sunshine. It's the only thing that helps me deal with winter. I've been to the beach as often as possible and started running or walking (... mostly walking, let's be honest) 3 miles about 4x/week again. I'm seeing some decrease in my anxiety level.

We've also been trying to spend time with people more often. We went to a craft beer festival, which was just what we needed. Who doesn't have a good time day-drinking? Eric's coworker was nice enough to get us a free pass and suggestions for some awesome beer. We met up with Johnnie finally and hit up Tequesta Brewing Company for Heather's birthday a couple weeks ago, and this past weekend, we met up with Johnnie again, and some Jersey visitors :) It was so good to see friends from home again. It makes Florida feel more like home.

Now, Eric and I are listening to some Coheed, and I just painted my nails pink and black for Valentine's Day... wait, did I just time-travel back to 9th grade? Someone buy me a black rose, please.

Life is good.