WHERE AM I

Disclaimer: I am still not a grown-up no matter what you read in this blog post.

It's 7:00AM and I've been awake for an hour. I'd rather have extra daylight in the evening than an extra hour to party one Saturday night per year. You know you're old when...

Anyway, I woke up crazy disoriented this morning because I had no clue where I was. Today, my friends, I woke up in my first home with a boy! Ew. Another "you know you're old when..." moment. I've lived away from home so many times, but it has never affected me the way this is affecting me. It has never been permanent before. I always knew I'd end up back on Upton with my parents, in my green room with all my stuffed animals. Today, I woke up with the feeling that this is the rest of my life. I only have 3 stuffed animals shoved on a closet shelf, and my walls are white, and I have no food and no kitchen table yet to eat my non-existant food.

I know I can always go home if I need to, but I'm out on my own for real now. I need to make this place in Florida with Eric my home. I can't go 2 years without decorating the walls like I did in Baltimore... unless I want to live in a maddeningly blank white box for a year or two... but that isn't really an option this time. It's not like I can escape it, even on weekends.

The past two months have felt like a vacation. But today, I think it's starting to hit me that this is real life. THIS IS MY NEW HOME. In Florida. A thousand miles away from the northeast. With Eric.

We have a kitchen, living room, extra living area for our music equipment, a guest room, an office room, a bedroom, and two full bathrooms. It's a pretty big place, and it's nowhere near fully furnished yet, so it feels empty. But SOON, we will be getting guest room furniture and a desk for the office and a TV. And a kitchen table. We really need a kitchen table...

So, there are the parts of it that actually have furniture so far! All of that stuff was shoved into Kristin and Ben's back room. Literally piled to the ceiling. I have no clue how she does it, but Kristin is the most expert packer-inner I have ever seen in my entire life. Seeing her pack stuff is like watching a real-life game of tetris. Incredible, really. And the guys are master unpackers. It took less than an hour to get the furniture up to the third floor and in to our place! It took longer to install the ceiling fans and light fixtures than to bring in the belongings... what a pain in the ass. Thank god for Kristin and Ben and their family.

I am very happy to be here, and it's exciting to have a place with Eric. I just wish our family and friends could be here to see it. I can't wait to decorate. Eric's designer eye will come in handy for that :)

Besides that, not much has been going on. Kristin is just pregnant, that's all. HA! Gotcha! Finally, I can tell people. It's been eating away at me. Living with a pregnant best friend has made me think about a lot. First, it has made me think about how grateful I am that Kristin and Ben let Eric and I live at their house for their first trimester. I don't think I could ever thank them enough. I have some really amazing friends.

Second, it made me realize how much it must suck to have to hide being pregnant from people before you are ready to tell the world. You can only come up with so many excuses for why you're not drinking, why you're tired, why you feel sick all the time. It sucks.

Third, it has kind of pulled a little bit on my heartstrings when I think about her having a kid. Shock! I have never wanted kids of my own, but I've always liked being around other people's kids. I think I'm developing a soft spot for the little monsters. I can't wait to babysit and help out and buy little girl things, i.e. her first pair of Chuck Taylors ;) Ugh, what a ball of mush I am turning in to. Despicable... :P

Alright. My stomach is yelling at me. I am going to eat breakfast. I think I have cereal... I think I have enough milk in the fridge for a bowl of cereal... Hah. I'm sure my parents would be proud of my survival skills!

Until next time. Which might be very soon if more big news happens. Which it might. Just sayin'...