Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Hobo No Hobo!

I am not on vacation. This is real life, and I got a real job! At least I think I do.

I had an interview on Friday, and I wasn't sure how well it was going at the time. The dude really seemed like he was skeptical of my abilities. That tends to happen when you are a small, nicely-dressed and made-up white girl applying for a job in an urban substance abuse rehabilitation center. But at the end of the interview, he said I have a job there as long as my background checks and references clear.

Seeing as I haven't killed or otherwise harmed anyone ever, I think I'll be good ;)

I start my training in two days, on Friday, while my paperwork is being processed! I will be a substance abuse counselor, working with dual-diagnoses clients. For all you non-psych people out there, that means clients who have addictions and other mental illness diagnoses, like depression/anxiety/schizophrenia/etc. They also offer supervision for licensure. This is exactly what I want to be doing.

One of my favorite quotes, by Andy Warhol:
Some people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say 'So what.'
That's one of my favorite things to say. 'So what.'
'My mother didn't love me.' So what.
'My husband won't ball me.' So what.
'I'm a success but I'm still alone.' So what.
I don't know how I made it through all the years before I learned that trick. It took a long time for me to learn it, but once you do, you never forget.
"So what" has been my life motto lately. I wasn't going to write about this job until I was absolutely positive and had a written offer in my possession, but I want to talk about it now. I want to put myself out there, even though I'm anxious that I'll suck at this, that I'll fail, that they'll tell me last-second that they aren't hiring me for whatever reason.

I'm anxious about a lot of nonsense, but that's okay. I have come a very, very long way from the person I used to be. If, for some reason, things fall through, so what? So what if I wrote about getting a job, and then I don't. I am proud of myself for stepping so far outside of my comfort zone. Raise your hand if you actually thought I would leave NJ and move to Florida with no set plan for what comes next. Anyone? I didn't think so. But here I am, taking each day as it comes, and I love it. I'm homesick for my family and friends and the events I'm missing out on (i.e. Megan and Tom's wedding this Friday :( Have fun guys!). But I love it here. I love the palm trees, the heat and humidity, being a 5 minute drive from the beach, going out on the boat, the fresh seafood, being able to actually SEE Kristin every day instead of once every 3 years, and I even love it here when it rains.

This is what happens when you push yourself to take risks. You go on life adventures and learn to convert your anxiety into adrenaline and excitement at the unknown :)

Next step: find a place to live and some furniture. Because even though I'm kind of not a poor bum hobo anymore, I'm still a hobo taking up space in my friends' house, and I do not like being a useless hobo!

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