Crisis Mode

This post is more for me than it is for you. I'm kind of having a breakdown today and starting to cry and freak out about leaving. I want to go to Florida so bad, and I really think I'll be happy there, but there is so much that I don't want to let go.

• Family: eating dinner with them, going to the diner with them, spontaneous trips to Longwood Gardens and the shore, looking at Christmas lights with my dad, my mom's holiday decorations (especially the Halloween village), outdoor parties at Eric's grandparents' house... everything.
• Friends: going crazy with my Mintie loves whenever we reunite, buddy shots and board games with Linds and that crew, my coworkers, even going to annoying Landmark with people. I better find cheap u-call-its in Florida to ease the pain of leaving these people...
• Diego and Binx acting like lunatic cats.
• Autumn: changing leaves, crisp air, that feeling where it's cool enough to snuggle up with s'mores and hot cider but not cold enough to hate my life.
• Bakeries. Do they have bakeries in Florida? Like I'm talking about Aversa's and Liscio's, not the bakery in Publix. I want some damn homemade cannolis, cakes, and doughnuts...
• Junk food. I know they have junk in Florida, but not the junk I like. I don't want Paula Deen's southern junk. I want cheesesteaks, Tastycakes, pretzels, GOOD pizza, diners, the Pop Shop, and Italian food that is not from Olive Garden.
• The smell of the outside. Um no, I'm not referring to how everyone thinks Jersey "smells bad," because it doesn't. At least not until you're on the Turnpike in North Jersey... ANYWAY, I am referring to the smell of the woods when I'm walking the trails in Washington Lake Park, or even just sitting in my back yard. The trees and grass are different here. What do palm trees smell like? I don't know, but they don't smell like the forests of the northeast.
• Cold weather at Christmas... "... Did she just complain about not having cold weather?" Yes, yes I did. But only ON CHRISTMAS EVE AND CHRISTMAS. Not the day before Christmas Eve, or after Christmas. I can easily solve this problem by coming up to NJ every Christmas (with a nice tan ;) ).
• My childhood home. My room with all my snow globes and hundreds of books. But I'd be leaving that anyway in a year, I guess.
• Being close to Philly, DC, Baltimore, and NYC.
• The shore. I don't care how nice Florida is with its beaches and boats and tiki bars. Nothing can replace the boardwalk, the view of AC from 32nd street beach, the Longport smiley face water tower, walking to Maynard's, and Junior's corn dogs.

Okay, now here's what I have to look forward to:

• THE SUN. WARMTH. ALL YEAR ROUND. I will never feel bitter cold to the bone. I will want to get out of bed every day. REMEMBER THIS, LAUREN, when you are freaking out about leaving NJ.
• Clear, blue water. Tropical fish in that water. Dolphins in that water! And sharks. But that's cool. And the water washes up some awesome shells on the beach. I brought home shells in July when I visited, and my mom asked if I bought them. NOPE, just picked em up on the beach!
• Boats. Taking the boats on trips. Taking the boats to sandbars with a cooler full of drinks and food. I was meant to be on boats.
• Tiki bars. Like really, they have Seacrets-like places just chillin around town.
• Delicious food. Sure, it's not the food that I'm used to, but it's good. Fresh seafood, lots of Mexican, Hispanic, and Carribbean-influenced food, Southern food. Yummy food. I bet I can get some GOOD key lime pie there!
• Beautiful scenery: palm trees, mangroves, the blue ocean, the architecture there. It's like a tropical paradise, only it's still in the U.S. How convenient!
• Cheap flights to the Carribbean... and a ferry to the Bahamas. Seriously.
• New cities to explore! I'm within driving distance of Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, Jacksonville, even Tampa if I want to dedicate some time, and Orlando, which brings me to my next point...
• DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!! Any time I want!!!!!!!!! My god, I can not wait to go to Disney again. With Eric and Kristin and Ben! Last time I was there was senior trip. Kristin had already moved to Florida by then, and she came to see me and Danielle at Magic Kingdom. It was the first time I ever met Ben, too! Such good memories, and now I will be able to bring Eric with us and be in the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EFFING EARTH with the person who makes me the happiest! And we can go whenever we want. You better believe I'm investing in season passes if I live in Florida permanently.
• Slower pace. For someone with serious anxiety, I think the slower pace of life is going to be good for me. Let's just sit on a boat in the middle of the ocean and chill with some drinks, man.
• Cheaper cost of living, which will be seriously helpful for me and Eric.

Okay, I feel a lot better now after talking about all the things I will love about Florida. Eric has been calling me, and texting, but not very often. You know why? Because he's having the time of his effing life. He tells me every day how much he's been loving it there. He's excited about his new job, he's getting along well with Kristin and Ben, and he just loves the environment and culture. Now if HE loves it so much, despite the heat, I'm pretty sure I will be insanely happy as well. It's just going to take some getting used to. Man, I'll really miss cheesesteaks...